You are viewing [info]emberdaergel's journal

yay! a big huge survey thing!   
09:58pm 06/05/2004
  Would You Rather...
1) pierce your nose or tongue? nose
2) be serious or be funny? In general, funny. But there are times to be serious as well.
3) drink whole or skim milk? skim
Are You...
4) simple or complicated? complicated
Do You Prefer...
5) flowers or angels: angels
6) grey or gray? Either
7) color or black-and-white photos? Depends wat they r of.
8) lust or love? Love
9) sunrise or sunset? Sunset
10) M&Ms or Skittles? skittles
11) Rap*Techno or Rap*Rock? Rap*Rock, if I have to choose one. Id prefer neither
12) staying up late or waking up early? staying up late
13) TV or radio? A good book
15) eating apples or oranges? apples
Answer Truthfully...
16) Do you have a crush? Well , now. Its mutual.
17) Who is it? Haha like u don’t kno already
Do You Prefer...
18) being hot or cold? hot
19) tall members of the opposite sex? Yes indeed!!!
20) sun or moon? Moon-
Deosil go by the waxing moon, chanting out the Witches’ Rune.
Widdershins go by the waning moon chanting out the baneful rune
When ye Lady's moon is new, kiss your hand to her times two.
When ye moon rides at her peak, then your heart's desire seek.
21) emeralds or rubies? Ooh tough one. Emeralds I guess.
22) left or right? left
23) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? My best friend
24) sun or rain? yes.
25) vanilla ice cream or chocolate ice cream? vanilla.
26) boys or girls? Guys. They r easier to comprehend. Im sick of reading a thousand things in everything. Ill stick with my guy friends. And besides, their crude jokes really are funny most of the time.
27) green beans or carrots? Green beans
28) low fat or fat free? Low fat
Miscellaneous...
29) What is your biggest fear in the world? Being trapped alone with no one.
30) Kids or no kids? kids
31) Cat or dog? dogs
32) Half empty or half full? Depends wats in the glass.
33) Mustard or ketchup? mustard
34) Hard cover books or soft cover books? Paperback. They fall apart. Which makes me treasure them each time I read them while they last. And then I get another copy. Waste of money perhaps. But… I dunno. *shrug*
35) Newspaper or magazine? Newspaper or newsweek
36) Sandals or sneakers? sandals
37) Wonder or amazement? wonder
38) Red car or white car? red
39) Happy and poor or sad and rich? yeah...happy and poor
40) Singing or dancing? Dancing. Cause then I usually start singing along if I know the song
41) Hugging or kissing? Depends with whom you are referring to.
42) Corduroy or plain? plain
43) Happy or sad? Happy
45) Blondes, brunettes? either

About You...
46) What time is it? Later
47) Full name? ember Elizabeth daergel… hahahaha no.
48) Names and ages of siblings? Tom. pet, adopted at an unknown age.
49) Number of candles that appeared on your last birthday cake? many
50) Date that you regularly blow them out? February 30 ah I love never taking this crap seriously.
51) Pets? 2 dogs
52) Height: 5'8"
53) Eye color? brown
54) Hair color? brown
55) Piercing(s)? ears
What Do You Want?
56) Where do you want to live? I dunno. A house. With a studio ideally. Or mebbe a tree house. Thatd be hoopy. But I guess it be a mess *shrug*
57) How many kids do you want? 2
58) What kind of job do you want? First, one that pays well. Then I want to be all artist!
59) Do you want to get married? yes
Which is better?
60) 2 doors or 4 (on a car)? depends
61) Coffee or ice cream? COFFEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
62) Shampoo or conditioner? shampoo
63) Bridges or tunnels? bridges
64) One pillow or two? Two
Word Association...(first thing that comes to mind)
65) Rock? Smokey mtns
66) Green? envy
67) Crying? happiness
68) Peanut? The Mr. Peanut man!
69) Roses? My drying corsage
70) Summer? Seabrook and michigan
71) Winter? The cold wind blowing snow all over my glasses


Favorites...
72) Salad dressing? Balsamic vinaigrette. Or a very good Caesar. Without too many anchovies. Ive also had a very tasty mango dressing once.
73) Color of socks? Just one?!?!?!
what happened to number 74? Good question.
75) Food? Crab or lobster. Lobster bisque with orange infusion. *yum*
76) Toothbrush? Well mine I should hope
77) Alcoholic drink? a good white wine
78) Non-alcoholic drink? smoothie
BASICS

Name: Ember Elizabeth Daergel. AKA Mar
Sex: female
Birthday: NA im only a figment of my imagination… wait how does that work? *wink*
Eye Color of Choice: violet
Current Residence: the matrix
Rivals: haha. Rivals. I don’t know who might consider me to be their rival. I have ppl I hate, ppl I can stand, ppl I don’t know well enough to judge, ppl I like, and ppl I love. I don’t really have rivals.
Friends: of the categories above, the ppl I love

Nervous Habits: tapping my foot, rocking forward and backwards, fingering scales.
Are you double jointed?: nope
Can you roll your tongue?: yep
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time?: sorta
Can you blow spit bubbles?: yup
Can you cross your eyes?: yup
Tattoos?: probably no, but if I got one, id prob do it myself
Do you make your bed daily?: hell no
CLOTHES

Which shoe goes on first?: right
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone?: yes indeed
On the average, how much money do you carry in your purse/wallet?: 40
What jewelry do you wear 24/7?: my celtic love knot
Favorite Piece of Clothing: … my purple jacket
Pajamas: pj pants that are waaaaay too big. And comfy.
Nightgown: only when all my pjs are in the wash. Which is rare. I have three pairs of pj pants.

FOOD

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it?: twirl usually, cut if I want to eat quickly
Have you ever eaten Spam?: no
How many cereals in your cabinet?: 2 or 3
What's your favorite restaurant?: The Palace. Ok. So im spoiled.
Do you cook?: sorta, some. Im not like a gourmet chef like my parents. I could be, I mean I know how to do everything, its just a matter of actually having motivation to do it.
GROOMING

How often do you brush your teeth: 2 times a day
How often do you shower/bathe?: once a day
How long does your shower last?: 10-30 min. I like long showers when I get the chance. And bubble baths are about 30 min on avg.
Have you ever colored/highlighted you hair?: no
Do you paint your nails?: yes amusingly, I do that to remind myself to do something. But yes I do for just prettiness also.
 
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08:37pm 06/05/2004
 
mood: contemplative
Hello hello! mar is feeling kinda random. she also just realized how much she is starting to slack off in school. shes just bored of it all. thats y. and she feels like life is slipping by with too little time to notice everything. and shes done speaking in the third person now. yay! but honestly. i just looked up and saw the clouds tinted orange pink with the sunset and you know... i havent watched the sunset for so long. ive just been wasting my time. doing absolutely nothing. i feel like time is just sort of an illusion. and everything that im worried about has just shrunk in my eyes. i just... wish... i dont know. i think i am in need of more reading of stoicism. its hoopy and makes me happy. and down goes the sun. dusk crawls in slowly. my room has gotten black in comparison to the cold glow of the computer screen. my music seems only interference. noise. not fit in the serenity. but i kno that if i capture this, no one would stop to look no one would notice. a thousand images everyday go by unnoticed. i want to stop for the beauty. and i want to stop for the ugliness. i want to know both sides. and i feel like there is a happy mask over me. cause i do feel happy usually. but i think thats just the surface. i dont look at my brooding self anymore. and so its sort of built itself up beyond my notice. and the sunset so bright, has now become a cold harsh grey. the silouettes are so black.
life is really strange. thats the easy way to put it
 
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08:05pm 28/04/2004
 
mood: bouncy
i _____ Mar.
Mar is _____.
if i were alone in a room with Mar, I would _____.
i think Mar should _____.
Mar needs _____.
i want to _____ Mar.
Mar can _____ my _____.
someday, Mar will _____.
Mar reminds me of _____.
without Mar _____.
Mar can be _____.
______ is the best thing i ever did with Mar.
worst thing about Mar is _____.
best thing about Mar is _____.
i am _____ Mar.
Mar needs to send me_______.
if Mar came to visit me, we would_________.
song i want to sing with Mar:__________.

yay! fill that out. it would make me happy. im kinda happy anyway. but fill it out anyway too. cause id love to see the replies!
 
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They say its over and im fine again   
06:18pm 27/04/2004
 
mood: distressed
yea. right. im happy. but... ah frick im worried. and scared. what could hurt that much? and life will go on for some but the clock just seems to stop. and everything comes to a screeching halt. and im so futzing helpless. yea i can forget about it for a little while. but its haunting me. and im scared. i dont want anyone to be hurting.
 
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I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh   
02:38pm 25/04/2004
 
mood: chipper
Prom. yes. it was awesome. just... *yay* except im totally exhausted now. i even went straight home afterwards. but i had an amazing time. the dance floor was too small tho. and it was so goddam hot that if u danced more than one song in a row u seriously were dripping sweat (yech!)but that didnt stop me from dancing! it was unbelievably awesome. *huge grin* *happy dance* and i had a gorgeous corsage. i hope i can dry it and keep it. ok now im just sorta rambling. i think its cause im so tired.
 
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Together We Cry   
06:53pm 22/04/2004
 
mood: Under the Bridge- Red Hot Chili Peppers
Ok wow. i had a long entry and it got deleted. interesting. anyway. i ahve a bunch of poetry that i wrote for english but im not going to put it here yet cause im having issues w/ the spacing. later i will. its not like anyone reads this anyway, its become more of a personal journal where i ahve quick access to my poetry and dont ahve to comment on other ppls journals as anonymous. *shrug* prom is saturday!!! mar is psyched! she has everything she needs! *grin* altho the dinner plans are interesting. a whole bunch of ppl are going with whom i rarely am more than civil and sometimes less. but ill stick with spiky and mickey and be happy. and then once we get to prom i can ignore everyone i want to and just dance. and they can laugh at me if they want to. i dont really give a shit. itll be fun.
 
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08:59pm 15/04/2004
  i want everyone who reads this to ask me 3 questions, no more no less. ask me anything you want. then i want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends (including myself) to ask you anything.  
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And all the roads that lead you there are winding   
04:18pm 04/04/2004
 
mood: hoopy!
Hello all. its been ages since i last updated so i just figured i would. and today is the last day of my spring break. i havent been shopping once. except to buy beads and chain for my prom jewelry which i made and love. i borrowed my dress which is awesome cause then i can guilt my mom into getting me nice shoes and a pretty shawl cause she didnt have to pay for the dress. i'm psyched for prom tho. it should be awesome.

right so anyway. the first week of break we went down to the Smokey Mountains and had a great time. We played tennis, bridge, pool, golf, and went hiking. And watched the basketball of course. Duke lost last night!!!!! NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! *weeps*

so yea. golf was awesome even tho we only played nine holes. i got a birdie and two pars!!! go me!!! one of those pars was on a 454 yard par 5 *preens* i could have birdied but i made a bad chip and then two-putted. eek. oh well. yea and then one hole i hit this gorgeous five wood *splash* right into the middle of a waterhole. grrr. so yea. quadruple bogey. oops.but it all averaged out to be about a bogey on every hole. thats the best ive ever played. and thats not including any handicap that i might have cause ive never bothered to calculate that. i was sooo happy.

This week has been so much fun. Saturday when we got home, em came over and spent the night. we watched a knights tale which i had never seen. hoopyhoopyhoopy movie! the next night i was up til 2 on the phone. then i spent the night at julias which was sooooo much fun cause we took model pics and... yea. *grin* some of them were outrageous but some turned out pretty well. then on tuesday chen came over for the afternoon and for dinner. i miss him!!! but we had fun. i think that was tuesday. ive sort of lost track. on wednesday i got my eyes measured so i can finally get my contacts. then i went to the world of beads and got the supplies to make my jewelry. i spent the rest of the day making it. then on thursday whitney came over and tom taught us about chess. that was cool. on friday i got to see mickey for the first time in two weeks. we played cards a lot. and then his mom came over for dinner. that was really fun. yesterday we played tennis and then after dinner cat rachel and lauren all came over, whitney was already here. we watched robin hood men in tights which some of them had never seen. that was awesome. today has been boring tho. im dreading school. ugh.

there. i said everything that i needed to say and more. yes *gasp i updated* i dont want any shocked comments from anyone! and dont expect this to become a regular event either.
 
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JCL!!!   
04:58pm 14/03/2004
 
mood: exhausted but HAPPY!
i just got back from convention. it was so much fun. im so glad i guilted julia into coming b/c i think she really enjoyed it. i hope she really enjoyed it at least. the first night at the general assembly (from here out being referred to as GA) we had the club t-shirt theme. we spiced it up a bit by adding whistles and shakers. i didnt get a whistle, but i definately screamed higher and louder than anyone could blow a whistle. so yea. that was massively fun, its the only time when i can actually scream as loud and high as i want with no one really caring except the ppl right next to me. so after the GA we went back to our rooms and settled in a little. I played Carstens and Brott in chess, winning both times. we, as in shorty ozzy mac cb julia and eric, then played mao which was hoopy. went to sleep around 12ish.

got up at 730 on saturday and then had to wait cause level one certamen was late. (argh!) but i got some time to practice my recitation, with shorty mocking me the entire time. we (finally) got started in certamen and were off to a pretty good start after the first two rounds, 160 points, but then were shut out entirely the third round. so we didnt get into the semis. grrr. that ended about 11 which theoretically gave me 15 minutes to get to my recitation, but that was running late as well so i got my lunch and ended up performing around noon. then off to test session two, or so i thought. again they were running late so the tests started at 145 as opposed to 1230. i took all 3 that time and then ahd 10 minutes to go back to my room before the next session started. that time i only had time to take two of the three, which is just as well cause i dont kno much history beyond what weve covered so far in A&M, hardly enough to get me to place. the roman banquet was hoopy, togas and all. i wore a sarong as a shawl cause im special like that. *grin* then for the next GA the theme was Roman dress, but we brought inflatable palm trees, lobsters, and dolphins and all wore sombreros. we were representing latin AMERICA. *grin* i found that highly amusing.

after the assembly, we went back upstairs for more cards, but were inspired by ozzy to go around chanting like the monks in monty python. and so we did. we wore hoodies and chanted in latin and hit ourselves on the forehead with books. it was hoopy!!! ppls reactions were either totally weirded out or they started quoting monty python. or they started chanting w/ us! thats how i met liz. she joined our group and then, having completed an entire circuit of the hotel, we went to watch her at the open mic where she performed a highly fitting song "oh Certamen" that she had written earlier that day. that was hoopy! then we all went back and played kemps and tounges and went to bed.

today was probably the worst day. i definately have not gotten enough sleep lately, and i didnt have enough caffiene. so the third GA was boring except for fred and the announcing of test awards (i got four! go me) we had a break for lunch and packed up the vans and then went back for the second half of the third GA. i thought it would never end. again, the only interesting parts were graphic arts (2 ribbons! yay!) and creative contests (1 ribbon!) and of course, freddy. we left before the GA had finished cause we had to get back by 430. i slept for an hr of the trip. that was good cause i really needed it. and now i am absolutely exhausted and had an awesomely awesome time. *is about to do happy dance* *doesnt have the energy* *does mental happy dance instead* aaaaand so. that was convention in a nutshell. a pretty big nutshell. i doubt anyone actually read the full account. yea. but oh well. it was sooooooo hoopy!!!
 
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Save me now I'm broken   
09:05pm 18/02/2004
 
mood: cynical
Okay. I feel so strange. I have given myself an entirely logical explaination as to why my life is absolutely pointless. And it is. But I don't really care. It's usually fun, and when its not thats ok because soon enough it will be fun again. And its not that I don't like my life, it just irritates me that the world is going to hell and there's nothing i can do about it. Our society is so corruptive, and our government is corrupted. And unless i feel like learning the art of rhetoric so i can become a wonderful demagogue to manipulate the masses, there is nothing i can do to change any of it. Sometimes i think Diogenes is right. Maybe i should go live in a barrel. Zeno had a pretty good arguement too except there is no ultimate power pushing everything towards a supreme good, so there his arguement is flawed. I must be insane. I read philosophy for fun. But hell, who knows, one of these guys might have an arguement that makes me believe life isn't pointless and thats exactly what i want to hear. I desperately want someone to prove me wrong, but that isn't going to happen. Here are some semi-relevant lyrics to a kickass song by 3eb.

Another Life

People's eyes say I'm no damn good
Shook down and left lonely
Only with the maybe we could
I stay inside cause I'm misunderstood
I can't get no release
I'm shell shocked from some heavy blows
A stranger to the people I know
Who used to say "he never had a down day"
Now I'm holding on to can't let goes
And silence brings no peace
Because another life
Went through my window pane
And I don't know why
I've got a will to burn
In attic rooms I just shut my door
For seven weeks or maybe seven more
It's like I face a seven headed whore
The fight's knocked out of me
There's no measure for grief and I can't find it with the sound
Break down, to the great god of the hand me down
Holding the past around wound up at the lost and found
Where the colors all turn to grey
I'm coming out of a down day
Colorized, the city's plays a double feature today
Life is long and something is wrong
But I want to know what's going on (and on)
In another life
Cause it's good again
And it will never die
I've got a will to burn
To see you again
It's like another life
It's like I'll not get better
Will to burn
Time goes by and I realize, that I'm alright
You thought nothing would be the same
But life comes round again
Quick wits and all curious
I'm all caught up in what you say
And it makes me grab the time
Before it slips away
I can't stay and I cannot wait
And I'm grateful to whistle past a grave yard gate
The flicker fade is getting stronger
Like when the days start getting longer
I got the rhythm down now in the places we warred
The golden gate is like my diving board
And life is pointless
But what's so wrong with that
Cause there's another life
And a sweeter pain
And it will never die
You got a will to burn
To see you again
It's like another life
I feel the whole thing happen
The will to burn
To see you again
It's like another life
I got another life
I got another life
 
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04:29pm 11/02/2004
 
mood: amused
bitch
your bitch.


What swear word are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
 
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05:18pm 27/01/2004
 
mood: loved
Words have been drained from this pencil
sweet words that I want to give you
and I cant sleep
I need to tell you goodnight
when we're together I feel perfect
when I pull away from you I fall apart
you- Evanescence
wow. thank you for this album spiky. I love this song.
 
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11:27pm 18/01/2004
 
mood: cynical
i wish life would stop laughing at me. it's not funny.
 
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a little girl lost just stands there and cries   
02:57pm 13/01/2004
 
mood: distressed
and i have now completed the third of the five exams. i dont think i did as well on this one. i had too much other than history on my mind. thas ok tho. i will still pull of at least an A- semester grade (i hope). i mean honestly i don't know how i wouldnt but... well... yea. i just realized how short of a time highschool really is. 4 yrs and then its all over. every little thing that hurts, im not going to remember half of them. then does it all seem so important? why do i feel like crying over pain that is so fleeting? and i wish i could laugh instead. the people i know, the stress i feel, the times we've laughed, the first time i told u i love u... how much of it will i remember? how much of it will just be a blur and seem so unimportant that ill never want to remember? and i feel like im at a turning point, but in the scheme of things, ill probably continue straight along the same path i was on before. hopefully i wont trip up along the way, but ill probably fall again. and i hope i can set myself free from these carefully crafted chains that i made so long ago. just so i know ill remember that i said this once, i love u.
 
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ive failed without defeat   
03:45pm 12/01/2004
 
mood: contemplative
yea ok thats two of five exams out of the way. and i did well i think. that is fairly remarkable in and of itself considering all the futzing social shit thats been bothering me. yea. right so
the time has come to say goodbye
to all our past regrets. I'm sorry to inform you
but I doubt you'll really ever understand.

friendships arent built on false promises
I've failed without defeat.
in this game of disrespect
I'm a victim - a small town tragedy

you think I'm just a kid but
you don't fucking get it.
I'm strong in my convictions
and don't you forget it.

so many things are left unsaid
but I won't even waste my time
for us to go our separate ways
I hope you miss me when I'm gone.

friendships arent built on false promises
I've failed without defeat.
in this game of disrespect
I'm a victim of small town rivalry.

farewell to all my friends
with self respect intact.
nothing will last forever
never looking back.

end is forever.

that is a futzing good song. ive never really realized just how good it is. *sigh* gotta luv the ataris.

"my good opinion once lost is lost forever."
"it will pass. and no doubt more quickly than it should."

those r from pride and prejudice. awesome movie, never read the book. i should tho. everything has new meaning to me. trust is so important. but u cant really trust anyone not to stab u in the back. and life is playing this joke on me, but i don't think anyones laughing. well, i laugh about it sometimes, when im feeling hopeless. hope is wasted on the hopeless. i should be crying not laughing, but tears wont come cause i was just so ignorant. now i know better. thank u spiky and erin and julia. i hope i can trust you. thank u for being here for me. i luv u guys.
 
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a violet sky   
03:45pm 08/01/2004
 
mood: anxious
so right, exams next week. oh joy. i mean they rnt gonna be that bad and hey its all time spent well as opposed to listening to dull lectures, not to mention the fact that at most u actually only spend 4 hrs a day in any scheduled time. yea so... they rnt bad. i just stress myself out. and i procrastinate studying as i am doing currently. chocolate always helps with the stress tho. hmmm. and today's a pretty good day for hot chocolate. *grin* yea so i havent really been writing much of anything lately. i write when im depressed and i havent been depressed. i guess thats a good thing. it feels like ive got some emotion bottled up inside though, and i dont no what it is. its just... well maybe i don know what it is. ive just been trying for so long to ignore this. but everything's not ok. i cant try to fool myself anymore. and it doesnt always end up ok. it wont always get better. i guess maybe i am a little depressed. *sigh*
 
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Happy New Year!   
03:02pm 01/01/2004
 
mood: content
Happy New Year everyone! There's something i just don't get. Why do we celebrate the new year? Isn't it most likely going to be almost exactly the same as the old year? And tell me does it really feel like its a whole year later than it did yesterday? So basically what we're celebrating is an excuse to get drunk and have parties and marking the date as 2004. Hmmm. Seems pointless. In any case, I went to a party last night and had a fabulous time. Love you all, I hope this year can be better than the last, although I doubt it will be.
 
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Fun Quiz   
10:23pm 29/12/2003
 
mood: amused
Capricorn
You should be dating a Capricorn.
22 December - 19 January
Your mate is cautious and realistic, hard working,
and loyal. Though he/she has the tendency to
be egotistical, unforgiving, or anxious,
Capricorns experience an intense feeling of
satisfaction while sharing their bed with the
one they love.


What Zodiac Sign Are You Attracted To?
brought to you by Quizilla

Who's a Capricorn that i know??? hmmm. *grin* ok shutting up now.
 
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A Little Poetry   
06:40pm 29/12/2003
 
mood: tired
This is some old stuff. I'll put others on as i write them. I'd luv any comments or suggetions u guys have. yea anyway onto the poetry.

Got your back 'til you turn it on me back off hand on my back holds me tightly tied up with string of the puppet tangled into knots in my emotions wrapped around my heart misses a beat. Missing you, your beautiful eyes making my fly sky high above the clouds that i am floating on and i find the silver lining. Lined up waiting for the punch line punch hard to cope with anger just because of life is good, but when are you coming back?


A cloudy day begind. A deluge of tears pour from my eyes that see too much. My tounge tastes the salt with a curse on its tip, held and bitten too long. And I don't know anything, but I know too much. In thought I purse my lips that snarl in frustration and smirk too sweetly. Voice screams with laughter deadened by sarcasm that speaks of winter as rain turns into snow. too cold.


I tried to tread so carefully this time
but I tripped
and now I'm falling
all over again
I tried to stay afloat this time
but I start to sink
and now I'm drowning
all over again
I tried to guard my feelings this time
but I slipped
and now I'm crying
all over again
Nothing ever works the way it should
I'll be disappointed
all over again



Black smudges around her eyes
Mascara worn too long
Chipped nailpolish, but only on the edges
A semisweet smile on her face
It was a fun time by all
And you hugged her saying goodbye
Don’t you wish we could start over?

Lipgloss lost its luster
Why bother re-apply?
Blush worn off replaced by a flush
A beautiful glint in her eyes
She loved every minute
And you hugged her saying goodbye
Do you regret your choice?

Black smudges on her memories
That dance has lost its luster
Feelings held too long
Why bother try again?
Chipped dreams worn off, replaced with tears
It was a fun time by all
She loved every minute
And you hugged her saying goodbye

Goodbye



i fall back down to earth again
but reality seems less cruel
my illusion erased by the rain
and now i feel a fool

and it's a one way road to oblivion
won't you walk down it with me?
no we'll turn on seperate paths
and blindly now i see



the clock ticks
and my thoughts drift
concentration slips away
kiss the ritalin goodbye
and my inspiration wanes

i sit in bed
my headache dulls
i dont notice it anymore
im hungry but cant eat
i dont have the energy to move

the tears wont come
though i wish to cry
my eyes are dry and hot
the world seems cruelly harsh and black
as lightning strikes my soul

as i burn
the flames caress
i no longer feel the pain
its better to just let this mood pass
while the clock ticks me away
 
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